Funny trucker jokes

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Funny trucker jokes

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Funny Trucker Jokes Video

VERY VERY FUNNY TRUCKIE PRANK CALL (*bad language warning)

Funny Trucker Jokes - Baby Langarmshirt

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Funny Trucker Jokes Video

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Dressing Up A Truck driver sees a girl about to jump off a bridge so he stops. After she's finished, the trucker says, "Wow!

How do truckers contact each other in Wisconsin? They use a Milwaukee-Talkie. A longhaul trucker with a trailer full of chickens is driving to Chicago A long haul trucker with a trailer full chickens is driving to Chicago with a parrot on the dashboard.

As he's driving, he sees a woman at the side of the road with her thumb out. He pulls over to the side, and the woman gets in.

Trucker: Do you have money? Woman: No. Truck: Su A trucker walks into a bar demanding 2 beers This goes on for about 10 minutes, till the barkeeper asks him "Buddy are you ok?

Bill's new car Bill decides after saving for a few years to finally buy a new red Lamborghini. He's so excited about it that he decides to go out and try it out on the highway.

As he's zooming down the highway, he sees a trucker up ahead slowing traffic, and decides to show off his new car by cutting the tr The Farmer and the Magical Trucker It was a bright sunny day, and the Farmer was tending his fields as usual.

Around noon, a Trucker rolled up, stopping beside the field the farmer was working that day. Mind if I grab myself some jars of honey?

A trucker and a blonde. A trucker is driving down a busy highway when he is abruptly cut off by a blonde woman in her car.

Tired and grumpy from driving all day, he quickly pulls along side of the woman's car and forces her to stop on the shoulder of the highway.

The trucker and the woman get out of their vehicles. The tru A confused mother watches her 4 year old son A confused mother watches her 4 year old son.

He then repeats this, over and over. He is about half way down the stairs when finally Some truckers have a dog for company A trucker is driving West across Texas, haulin' a trailer full of chickens, with his pet parrot in the cab.

While driving through Dallas he sees a beautiful woman on the side of road, leg hiked up, thumb out. He stops and looks at her. A long-haired youth was hitchhiking A long-haired youth was hitchhiking through the deep South.

He got a ride from a mean looking redneck trucker. After riding about 30 miles in silence, the youth finally said, "Well, aren't you going to ask me?

Too far in A couple has been dating for a few months. The only thing that annoys the guy is that the girl is making him wait before he takes the relationship to a physical level.

In fa Jesus is bored in heaven and decides to take a vacation to Earth He thinks hitchhiking could be fun, so he disguises himself as an average looking American and flies down from heaven onto a highway in Nebraska.

He sticks his thumb out and after a little while, an wheeler pulls over to offer a ride. He climbs in the cab, tells the driver he's headed west and A wish gone awry An Aussie trucker walks into an outback cafe with a full-grown emu behind him.

The waitress asks them for their orders. The trucker says, 'A hamburger, chips and a coke,' and turns to the emu, 'What's yours? A short time A Blond walks into a gas station Do you have a coat hanger or something I can stick through the window to unlock the door?

So the employee asks him why he is laughing. The trucker says: "There is a Blond who tries A nun was hitchhiking and the truck driver decided to give her a lift Nun kept saying how grateful she was and if there's anything she could do in return.

The trucker was a bit shy at first, but finally admitted: - "Well, you know how lonely these roads can get, and we truckers really like to make some love on the way.

And to be honest, I've never had sex with I was giving my cat a bath for the first time. She just loved it. It was good for me, it was good for the cat.

It gave us some precious time together we desperately needed. Ahh,the look on her cute little face was enough to make a trucker melt. The fur got stuck to my tounge,but other than that it was ok.

Probably the grossest joke I've ever heard. He's sweeping floors and wiping tables, when there's a knock at the door. He opens the door and standing there is the filthiest bum he's ever seen.

The bum says, "say fella, could you give me a fork? Inside, was an elderly trucker, eating a pie by himself. The first man walked up to him and spit in his pie.

The second man shoves his cigarette into his pie, and the third man knocks it onto the ground. Without a word, he leaves the gas st Honk if you love jesus!

The other day I went to the local religious book store and I saw a "Honk if you love Jesus" bumper sticker. I bought it and put it on the back bumper of my car, and I'm really glad I did.

What an uplifting experience followed! I was stopped at the light at a busy intersection, just lost in th The Party A man is hitchhiking close to sundown when a trucker picks him up.

Trucker: Where you headed? Man: I'll get a room at the next town. Trucker: I'm headed to a party in woods up the road. You're welcome to go.

Man: That sounds great. Trucker: Just to warn The worst day ever. A scrawny man enters a bar, and takes a seat at the counter. He orders a drink, but doesn't touch it.

About twenty minutes go by and the man still hasn't touched his drink. Next to him was a hefty trucker, who having noticed this thought it would be funny to down the other's man drink.

He does this, Help Me A group of nuns were travelling in a car when it had a flat tire. They got out and try to change it, but being rather unworldly, they don't really know how.

Luckily, a truck came along and the driver offered to change it for them. They gratefully accepted. Many states and federal agencies involved.

I can't grant you that. Anything else for sure. Driver: How about my wife liking my family. Every time he saw a lawyer walk by the road he would swing over and run them over with his truck.

One day while he was out driving, he saw a priest walk by the side of the road. Thinking it could not hurt to help a servant of god he stopped and asked the pr The truck driver parked his truck and went over to A truck driver had stopped for dinner at a cafe in a small town Some of the regulars there noticed him and began sniffing the air.

A truck driver is heading west across the Arizona desert. He has been driving all night, and as the sun starts to rise, he feels the need to stop and commune with nature.

He pulls to the side of the road, parks, and walks out into the sage brush. As he is standing there, looking around at the beauty of the early morning, he notices a lever sticking out of the ground.

After a few moments, he walks over, walks all the way around, and then reaches out to grasp the le So a truck driver is driving through the country when he sees a penguin in the middle of the road He pulls over and looks around, but can't see anyone.

So he picks up the penguin, puts him in the cab of his truck, and continues on his way. A couple of miles down the road he gets pulled over by a cop.

The cop walks up to the truck and asks, "What are you doing with that penguin in your c Angry truck driver demands a blond to pull over A blonde had just gotten a new sports car and was out for a drive when she cut off a truck driver.

He motioned for her to pull over. When she did, he got out of his truck and pulled a piece of chalk from his pocket. He drew a circle on the road and told the blonde to stand in the circ A blonde cuts off a truck driver on the highway He runs up to the blonde and starts yelling at her.

The truck driver draws a circle on the pavement and tells the blonde stay there. Then, the truck driver starts smashing her windshield.

He looks back at the blonde and she's smi A truck driver carrying 6 penguins got into an accident A car driver stop by and ask if everybody is alright.

The truck driver says to the car driver if he could help and take the 6 penguins to the Zoo for him, while he fixes his truck.

The car driver more than happy to help, takes the 6 penguins and leave. Few days later, the t An Aussie truck driver walks into an outback cafe with a full grown emu.

The waitress asks them for their orders. A short time later the waitress returns with the order. Why can't truck drivers ever fully retire? Because they can only semi retire.

A truck driver stops at a gas station with a penguin in the passenger seat. The owner from the gas station asks where the penguin comes from.

Truck Driver Got in off the road last friday. I said "boy what are doin'? He said, "I' A man and a woman were dating.

She, being of a religious nature, had held back the worldly pleasure that he wanted from her so badly.

In fact, he had never even seen her naked. One day, as they slowly drove down the freeway, she remarked about his slow driving habits. For every 5 miles per hour over the speed limit [60 MPH] you drive, I'll remove one piece of clothing.

An optimist, a pessimist and a realist are standing next to each other. The optimist sees light. The pessimist sees light at the end of a tunnel.

The realist sees a truck at the end of a tunnel. The truck driver sees three idiots which he's about to run over.

He has a pet parrot who is with him in the front part of the truck. After some driving a female hitchhiker tries to stop the truck. The truck driver asks her: "Will you sleep with me?

A wealthy old man lays on his death bed, his 3 sons by his side. Each of you take a duck to the market. A good price for A truck driver walks into a bar He tells the bartender "give me a whiskey, straight up".

The bartender pours him a whiskey, the truck driver takes it, sloshes it around in his mouth, and spits it out on the floor. He asks the bartender for another.

The bartender obliges and pours him another whiskey. Once again, the truck driver s Old Mr. Blaustein goes to a restaurant..

The waiter keeps his face but can't help himself uttering "Yesterday your son ate here and he left 50 dollar tip! Chemical Plant Fire One dark night outside a small town a fire started inside the local chemical plant.

Before long it exploded into flames and an alarm went out to fire departments from miles around. After fighting the fire for over an hour, the chemical company president approached the fire chief and said, "All of ou Dressing Up A Truck driver sees a girl about to jump off a bridge so he stops.

After she's finished, the trucker says, "Wow! A hitchhiker gets picked up by a trucker with a bullfrog on his dashboard. The hitchhiker guy stares at the bullfrog for a while, fascinated by the animal, while the truck driver just grins.

After a while, the truck driver decides to show him what's what. He pulls over by the side of the road. A border custom officer saw a suspicious truck at the check post.

The officer immediately asked the Truck driver to bring the truck aside for a complete check up. And he was right. The man watches him for a bit as he repeats this over and over.

Finally the man w Me and Leroy A old southern,slow-talking' truck driver answers an ad in the paper for an OTR position.

He goes into meet with the supervisor. The supervisor knows they need drivers bad, so he cuts off the entire interview and says: Supervisor: "Look, if you can pass your certification test, the job is you A trucker is driving down a random stretch of highway He happens upon a billboard while driving that reads Peaches, engineered for your taste!

Only 10 miles! Mildly intrigued, the driver decides to check out what this means. Driving for the next couple miles, he final A warning to all truck drivers and bird lovers Researchers for the Swansea Authority found over dead crows near M4 recently, and there was concern that they may have died from Avian Flu.

The cause of deat The ice cream truck is going down the street And a lady runs after it but it doesn't see her and keeps going. She keeps following until the driver sees her in his mirror.

The driver of a huge trailer lost control of his rig and ploughed into an empty toll booth, smashing it to pieces.

Some time after the driver had reported the damage, he watched as a repair truck pulled up and discharged a crew of workers.

They picked up each broken piece of the wreckage and spread a creamy substance on it. Then they began fittin The Story of a boy named Nate There once was a boy named Nate.

He lived across the street from a lever, that if it were to be pulled, the world would end. One day, Nate was bored, so he decided to cross the street and check out this world-ending lever.

However, on his way across the street, a truck came speeding down. So the hitch-hiker lies down and is soon asleep. A trucker gets lost one day and as luck would have it he comes to a the low bridge and gets stuck under it.

The cars are backed up for miles behind him. Eventually, a cop car pulls up. The cop gets out and walks around to the truck driver.

This one truck driver would often amuse himself by running over lawyers. One day, as the truck driver was driving along he saw a priest hitch-hiking.

Climb in. So the priest climbed into the passenger seat and the truck driver continued down the road. Suddenly the truck driver saw a lawyer walking down the road and instinctively he swerved to hit him.

I almost hit that lawyer. A truck driver was pulled over one day by a State Trooper.

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